GP Baskin Robbins saved by Y’all Qaeda

Sunday 5/31
“We will fight them at the Supercuts, we will fight them at the Baskin Robbins, we will fight them at Grants Pass Toyota, we will never surrender!”- Bo Price Jr., the leader of GP Y’all Qaeda gives a rousing speech before dispatching Meal Team Six to defend Baskin Robbins.

‘We did not storm state capitals all over this great country to uphold our God given right to a haircut just to have ANTIFA come and burn down the Supercuts!”

Bo “Gunny” Price Jr

Throughout the weekend, rumors circulated around Josephine County that two busloads of the feared ANTIFA would descend on the fiercely white hamlet of Grants Pass with the goal of looting and burning the Baskin Robbins and Supercuts, and to tear down what is perhaps the largest flag in Oregun. Coos Bay was reportedly expecting three busloads, but the Klamath Falls PROFA (see footnote) mowed them all down along with several of their own. Using tannerite, PROFA detonated the large crane (along with several of their own) that was expected in Grants Pass thereby thwarting ANTIFA’s plans. Around midnight it was clear that the enemy had decided not to show up due to the vigilant efforts of Y’all Qaeda and victoriously returned to their homes after a quick stop off at In-n-Out burger. It was later discovered that in their famished battle-weary state, they had accidentally left their sniper on the roof. He was found in fair condition the following morning after Charter Internet employees heard his cries for help.

Rogue Chronicle tried to reach out to ANTIFA in attempt to interview them about their pathetic failed attempt, but was unable to reach their leader(s) or any members since it is not an actual organization.

PROFA: n. The opposite of Antifa (anti-fascist). Pro-fascist.