3 Rivers School District Approves Dutch Bros Bro-rista Classes.

Southern Oregon- High Schools area wide have accepted that the best looking and most affluent senior students are now eligible to enroll in the Dutch Bros pre-grad program. State funded bro-rista programs will help cut down on training costs within the Dutch Bros organization. State-of-the-art espresso machines will be installed at all of the vocational centers from Roseburg south. Intensive training into grilling sleep-weary patrons will be implemented, along with perky workshops about eyelash extensions and hair gelling sessions. All graduates must be able to determine the job, attitude, mental state, and destination of their patrons. Hellgate Excursions is preparing a similar program to compete for the young workforce of the Rogue Valley, vowing to teach students a myriad of skills including how to serve tables in a dangerous smoke filled environment, and how to fend off advances from drunken adults.